Though I don't think I've experienced a paradigm shift as much as a shifting of priorities. New York has that effect on people. Everyone is moving and going so fast, doing their own thing, they just don't have time for mediocrity. So it forces you to re-evaluate what is important to you.
I guess at home I had more time for peripheral friends; the ones that aren't really at the core, they pop in and out sporadically, but don't stay long enough for a substantial connection or relationship to occur. And it does occur to me that some people's social network is only made up of peripheral friends.I can't tolerate these things. I, being the only one responsible for my relationships, choose to have higher standards. And those who cannot or fail to live up to it, will fall by the wayside. A little heartless I guess, but those who give me their precious time and energy, I give back double.
This year I am sending out holiday cards once again. And I want my mailing list to be small and concise. And I don't want to have to include anyone just because they think we are close, or because they have good intentions but are awful friends.