Friday, January 28, 2011

vitamin D

The sun setting over Los Angeles, as seen from Griffith Park Observatory this past Monday. More pictures of my LA trip to come, but I wanted to give you guys on the east coast a vital dose of vitamin D. It was snowing for 2 days straight as soon as I returned to New York.

Friday, January 21, 2011

hollywood, how could it hurt you when it looks so good?

I will start as a publicist in February for Small PR Firm. It's a temp to permanent position, but right now its all freelancing which is perfect for my fickle little heart. I'm excited about the clients and the people. I'm excited to do what I'm good at.

But more exciting is that we used the fact that I just got a job as an excuse to go to Los Angeles for the weekend. It was decided on a whim in the last hour. Car, flight and hotel booked. See you on the other side.


Wednesday, January 19, 2011

my writing could be a hell of a lot better if i learned how to proof read and edit.

but i prefer it as it is the way it comes out, freshly from my brain and out of my fingers. it's raw, it's honest.

i think i at least owe it to myself to be honest than a carefully edited version that slightly resembles who i am.

bird with no home

I haven't posted an update on my life in a while. But that's because things were looking a bit dark, and if I was to be cynical about it, they still may be for important decisions and sacrifices still need to be made.

After my internship at Big PR Firm ended, I turned down a freelance gig they offered me. It was meager pay for an obscene amount of bitch work. And I don't regret turning it down. A note to the young, eager and ambitious looking to break into the fashion industry: know your worth, do not let others take you for granted. They may entice you to slave labor with the faint possible hope that a permanent position may be on the horizon or a resume update, but be realistic and realize that there are other avenues out there. It may seem bleak, but don't give up, give yourself better opportunities. Maybe I'm really writing this to myself.

So technically I have been unemployed for almost a month now. I love it that I get to stay up late because I love the witching hours, and I love waking up at 1pm, having a snack and hitting the gym or the pool as it will be today. I don't miss the sunrise.

I've been job searching, but there are few opportunities that fit. The one thing to know about job searching is not to apply to every single job in sight that sort of resembles your qualifications. Don't waste your time. These people want specifics, they list specifics. Narrow it down. It will save you time, and lessen the blows of rejection.

So unemployment would naturally bring anyone a bit of depression. If that is so, than Carine Riotfeld certainly lifted me out of my funk. She just left her post as the Editor in Chief of French Vogue after 10 years. Who would do such a silly thing? Her reasons were, as reported by New York Mag via WWD:
I have always been a freelancer, so when I was hired 10 years ago, I found it very difficult to have an office, an assistant, a schedule, fixed vacations. But at the same time, it was such a huge job that I said yes. It’s been an incredible adventure, but maybe in my heart and soul, I am more of a freelancer.
from Hendal Mansour
There's something strangely restless about 2011. Is it because the idea of a new year makes one feel like they are standing on the precipice of a brand new horizon? Slate cleared, dust dusted off, and wings ready for flight.

All I know is, I won't be in the states much longer. I know I set out here in New York to get a job in fashion PR, but a part of me feels that in lieu of starting my career, I may regret not taking the opportunity, while I am still young, to see the world. I have three sisters in France, all with family and kids of their own, and I want to know them. I want to visit the night market in Taiwan, swim in the blue waters of Fiji, visit New Caledonia, ride an elephant and pretend to be a Maharani. I want henna art to decorating my whole body with blessings of joy and love.

In my thirst for travel, I may have subconsciously passed up a few permanent job positions. That's how bad it is. That's how much I want it, but how conflicted I am about my two worlds right now; the 'working career' one and the 'bird with no home' one.

I have a freelance gig coming up for February, coinciding with Fashion Week. I am grateful that I still get to participate in Fashion Week, but most of all, to have a paycheck again would feel a bit liberating. There is no bitch work with this one as it is with a small up and coming PR Firm, so I get to skip entry level and really get my feet wet, and perhaps make some waves. Unlike the last freelance offer from Big PR Firm, my resume can really benefit from this one and it will certainly take it to the next level. The perks of it being freelance is that there are a few opportunities to travel abroad soon (that's for another entry), so telecommuting won't be a problem.

Welcome to the new world.

Tuesday, January 11, 2011

Spirit Hoods

I finally found out what brand this fur hoodie thing is. It's called Spirit Hoods, and they come in all sorts of animals. And no need to alert PETA, it's faux fur. It's also handmade in the good 'ole USA.

In addition to being silly, fun and totally outrageous head wear, they are also "pro-wildlife." Some of their hats are marked with a BLUE logo, which donates proceeds to non-profit wild life organizations and initiatives:

Product Blue
The Spirit Hoods Family is pro wildlife! We are a big supporter of all animals all over the world, and to concentrate our efforts and make sure your donated dollars go to the right place, we’ve created “Product Blue.” When you purchase a Spirit Hood that contains the logo below you are automatically donating a portion of proceeds to help fund a Non-Profit Organization dedicated to helping your particular animal.

Day 3 - Your parents

I never followed your rules. And I pushed just about every boundary that there was to push. I'm sorry for the heartaches and the scares. I'll try to make it up to you one day.

One day I want to give you the world like you've given me. One day I will give you back everything. You are not perfect, but who am I to hold that against you? You've made me who I am, you gave me life. I hate you sometimes, but only because I love you too much to let you get away with hurting me.

I wish time would stop so I could have you forever, all your love, expectations, more love, the food you cook for me, the talks you give to me thinking you know what's going on. For me, I'm just trying to slow down time, trying to keep you for as long as I can.

And even after you're gone I don't think I will be so sad because every day I am realizing more and more how I am made up of equal parts the both of you, uniquely combined to be no one else but yours. So just like grandpa and every one else. They never left. They're all still here, all a part of me.

Sunday, January 9, 2011

mirror reflected

Looking at my entry counts over there on the right I see that in 2009 I wrote a total of 334 entries. In 2008 I wrote half as much and the reason to that is obvious (to me). It was an uninspiring year. But again last year, only 157. You could say 2009 was my most inspiring. It was a perfect balance of old, new, resilience and surprises and great passion. I fell in love again, and it's been a whiles. The last time I was in love was probably  six years ago. Strange. It wasn't healthy love. This, this is healthy love. But it scares me.

It scares me to be healthy and happy because I've always found inspiration in darkness, rather than light. I know people whose heart flush with warmth and crazy ideas when they are happy. I think my mind just goes blank.

I had thought this entry out. Something about yearning to be quiet instead of being so openly expressive. Yearning for peace in 2011. Something about being attributed by a stranger that I was "misunderstood." The stranger is my best friend's best friend. How ironic that they should both agree on this point, one knowing nothing about me and the other in love with me. People will always make false assumptions about the person that you are, especially if you are a more complex animal than they are used to. If you live a life of honest contradictions, embracing all your flaws and showing your true skin, raw and red every time. When you refuse to fit into a mold, well aware of how a person like you should be, how a person who looks and dress and walks and talks like you should behave. It just doesn't fit. It scares them. 

Let me tell you something. When someone makes a brash decision of who you are, someone who hardly knows you, it doesn't mean shit. It means that they have to define something as soon as it comes into their well-observed little bubble because to leave something undefined scares them. These people like to be in control, they like to think they know all there is to know. And when they don't, when they realized they were wrong...they blame you; It's your fault because you are so confusing and complex that you caused misunderstanding. 

Misunderstood. It's not much a reflection of you as much as it is a reflection of who pinned that on you. Because we know that we are all capable of being everything and nothing at the same time. We are capable of extremes and mediocrity, and we can change in an instant if we wish because we know a secret that they do not. We know that nothing lasts and permanence is an illusion. We know that tomorrow we will not be the same person that we were today. 

Or last year. Or six years ago.

thick headed; Massada

Just discovered these great frames from a new company called Massada. The last one is perfect for an oval shaped skull like mines. Been pondering cat-eye frames for a whiles now. I wonder if it brings out the feline spirit, you know like how animal prints makes you frisky, and oysters make you...well, never mind.

But anyways, the discovery of this means I won't be opting for Lasik for a while.

animal instincts

she's a mess, i know. hot mess.


Tuesday, January 4, 2011

never too much

Ciao. With the holiday glitter settled, I am back in New York. All this time off has made my brain lethargic. I'm not even sure if I'm making any sense right now. Over the break, I basically over indulged on just about everything I loved.  And I'm starting to feel that the hedonistic behavior is overstaying its welcome...
a thick issue of Sweet magazine with Ayumi Hamasaki on the cover

free make-up bags that came with the magazine...

...from Paul & Joe

Also saw Somewhere over the weekend. Highly recommended for a lazy Sunday watch. I feel like if we were to peer into Sofia Coppola's skull, we would be overwhelmed with exotic flavor sorbets, tropical flowers, pastel roses, sweet perfumes, and vintage lace umbrellas. All her movies are glowingly sweet, with a dangerous sense of innocence dangling on a noose in every scene, ready to sacrifice itself for the sake of art. Most apparent of this was the Virgin Suicides.

We hit up Little Lamb Hotpot as soon as we were back in New York. If you ever want to experience the best hotpot of your life, you must venture into Flushing, New York, to Little Lamb. And in this frigid weather, it's the best excuse.

Next up on the list was Eataly, Mario Batali's Italian food hall, offering all sorts of authentic gastronomical treats.

tagliatelle with black truffles; and to be honest, was pretty blasé.

My favorite; prosciutto and wine.
So hopefully after all this, we've gotten the glutton out of our system. But I think we have plans to hit up Gyu-Kaku this weekend... Who am I kidding. This year is going to be indulgent and overflowing. It sure is starting out that way.