Friday, February 18, 2011

self-induced nagging


That is my windowsill earlier this morning. That is a stuff iguana's arm on the bottom left. Outside is a mediocre view of south street seaport and office buildings with really good vantage point of view into our room. And since I live like a nudist in my room, the blinds stay down.

I wanted to update all week. I had this self-induce nagging feeling all week, but I just kinda stayed beneath my sheets and tried my best to finish my book. The lover has left me. Not quite as dramatic. He's gone to Shanghai for a few months' stint for his job. His departure hit us abruptly. Kind of like when you come upon a sudden step in the asphalt that you didn't know existed. A sudden, and deep sinking feeling that your body didn't expect. So I buried myself deeper inside my sheets, read more, ate less, and downloaded a lot of weird/interesting apps on my iPhone (guilty pleasure confession).

When he left, we were both shocked at how much tears were involved. I can usually cry on command, but from him, it was like walking on the moon; somewhere only a few men have ventured. And I get to broadcast it on my blog. I hope he doesn't read this.

I'll be joining him in a month and a half after a stopover in Paris to gather reconnaissance for a move that I hope will happen later this year. From then we hope to pillage what we can of the Republic of China, and stop by Vietnam (my sweet home land). I really want to visit my grandfather's grave with him. I really want to say a few things I never got to say, in the presence of two men who love me more than life.

No comments:

LinkWithin

Related Posts with Thumbnails