Thursday, February 18, 2016

Moving Targets




Two months into the new year and I am in the blessed position of having to make choices between two very good situations. My mountains have turned into molehills but that is a byproduct of living in a insanely expensive city where six figures is the baseline for middle class income. How ridiculous is it that I look at my once-unattainable salary and think, "I need to make at least double that to even begin to feel comfortable here." San Francisco is pricing us all out day by day and it makes me dream of greener pastures overseas somewhere.

Speaking of overseas, we are getting ankle deep into wedding planning. Two choices also lay before us with this: California basic wedding or French Chateau weekend wedding. Trust me, I know how ridiculous this all sounds, especially when written out and the fact that I even call a Napa wedding "basic." I have never come from a "rich" family. We grew up being very mindful of our spending, of avoiding credit cards at all costs, but we were never without. Our finances within the family have always had strict boundaries and were independently earned. My parents only supported me up until high school, which may be a surprising revelation to some. So everything I earned today, from the Benz that I drove to the purses, trips abroad and lifestyle that I led, I earned on my own because I always hated the idea of relying on my parents for anything. They've given up enough for me and I've always felt the guilty need to give back to them as soon as I was able.

So where I am in my life; living in an idyllic neighborhood in the heart of bustling San Francisco, working downtown next to a historic monument, a breezy 11 minute commute to work, traveling to Napa, Tahoe or Calistoga on the weekends, planning my destination wedding in France – the privilege is not unbeknownst to me. To realize your dreams, independent from parents at a young age...as a woman it's something to be extremely proud of.

This brings us back to the title of this entry; Moving Targets. Our goals in life are continuously changing based on the goals we achieve and how fast we reach them. I don't know what drives you but I push myself so hard because the desire to succeed and surpass the herd is ingrained deep in my core. It's exhausting to never give yourself a break, to constantly feel like your mountains are shrinking the closer you get to them. You never truly enjoy your success as success is constantly being redefined every time you hit your goal. So that's the theme of this year, my 2016 has been a year of moving targets. Two months in and I am so close to hitting my resolution that I almost feel cheated or that I did not set my goals high enough. Either way, the next milestone has been set, and before I even reach my first goal, I already have my eyes set on the next level. Right now it seems completely insurmountable, but then again a year ago the idea of living in San Francisco with a cushy tech job also seemed like a pipe dream...

Here's to 2016 and you crushing all your mountains.


xx

1 comment:

Vivian said...

How amazing it is to read your beautiful writing again. Congratulations on the upcoming wedding and achieving some goals you had set. I like the term "moving targets", that's how I feel about my life too. Thanks for always being an inspiration. Your writing is one of my favourites.

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