Wednesday, April 28, 2010

good observation; bad inference

It was past our bedtime, somewhere around 3am that we finally made it back. and in the silence, he looked at me ponderingly, deciding whether or not he should say what was on his mind.

Say it.

"The faces of your friends are always changing," he finally stated bluntly, like it was a crime to have a constantly revolving social circle. i felt this terribly urge to suddenly have to explain myself. I wanted to say, I'm not fake or superficial... I'm just friendly to everyone I meet...I don't mean to... but I get to know people and...

Instead I settled for, "I welcome everyone into my life with open arms. Some stay, some go. The good ones, they always last." and since I always meet so many new faces, I have more chances of finding the good ones than most.

I knew what it was though. He couldn't trust as easily. He couldn't be as open to newcomers. 

Why is it that I always meet or manage to fall behind the walls of those who constantly put them up?

I don't mind being a sole confidante. Rather, anyone would feel special to have someone so reserve open up to them. But I sometimes conjure up resentment in them. It's like they hold it against me that I've discovered them finally. I've figured them all despite all the noise.

But I felt guilty when I was accused of having too many transient relationships.

Why should I apologize for being the way that I am?

I once met someone presumptuous enough to come into my life for a brief second and have the audacity to proclaim, "Look at all the faces that come and go in your life. You don't know how to make lasting friendships. You constantly burn bridges." I wish it were that simple. And maybe it is because she was starting to realize that she wasn't one of the good ones.


Glenda.Fu said...

firstly. beautifully written. what people dont understand perhaps is that change is a necessary part of life. I was chatting with this new girl I met last night about transient friendships - and its really no one's fault - some times people lose touch - location is also always a factor. never apologize for who you are. i think you are amazing.

Agreat said...

i always tend to meet bad ones. the good ones that i meet, change into something else, and leave.

le artiste said...

You know I love all of your entries but this one I just had to comment on. Exactly what Glenda said above.
People come and go. You meet new people all the time and the more you chill with them, the more you find out what kind of a person they are. If they weren't meant to be in your life, they won't. There's a purpose to everything...why some people stay and some people leave. But all these people still make a difference in your life.
Just know that the good ones are here to stay til the end. It just gets hard as we get older but I guess that's where we need to make an extra effort to make some time to even have some coffee or something.
Sorry for not making some time for you Love<3