Wednesday, January 13, 2010

happiest rebirth


and i find myself writing this 13 days into the new years. my apologies for neglecting this blog, but so far, every hour of my day--my life--is delegated to a task at hand; be it the task of running a fundraiser (we got the wife of the DC mayor to be guest of honor--yay), personal needs, friends, family, traveling, working out or work, work work...and then if there's time left over, I get to sleep.

some days i feel driven. i plow through my to-do list with ease and enthusiasm. but today I feel extremely overwhelmed. the to-do list i make for myself is getting heavier, weighing me down and i feel it particularly heavy on my shoulders tonight.

but its a new year and this is supposed to be a positive post, on a bad day. i am doing something bigger than my little body thought it was capable of. and some days i feel great, but some days the fear seeps in. the ambitions that you set for yourself seems daunting and you hope to not ever let yourself down.

that's my resolution this year. others will let you down. they always will, but don't ever let yourself down. it's the only thing you can control; yourself.

this new year starts with a whole new to-read list, and I got this from one of my favorite blogs:

extremely loud & incredibly close - jonathan safran foer [have need to finish]
on the road - jack kerouac
the great gatsby - f. scott fitzgerald [need to re-read]
middlesex - jeffrey eugenides
the curious incident of the dog in the night-time - mark haddon
a wild sheep chase - haruki murakami
kafka on the shore - haruki murakami
factotum - charles bukowski
stardust - neil gaiman [re-read]
sputnik sweetheart - haruki murakami
candy - kevin brooks
atonement - ian mcewan
gut symmetries - jeanette winterson
alice in wonderland and through the looking glass - lewis carroll
the book of laughter and forgetting - milan kundera
after the quake - haruki murakami
the time traveler’s wife - audrey niffenegger
girlfriend in a coma - douglas coupland

we live very short lives if we think about time in terms of decades and millenniums. our time on earth is very short compared to the stars and the tallest trees in the biggest forest. today i feel small.

tomorrow perhaps I'll feel bigger.




3 comments:

Vivian said...

You are one of the most ambitious and inspiring girls I (never) met. Reading you is always delightful.

がんばって (ganbatte=good luck, do you best) for your projects. And that reading list is fantastic. I'm happy you'll read Kafka on the Shore- it takes place where I live, in Japan :)

Hugs xxxx

Sarah said...

kafka on the shore is indeed a fantastic story, one of my most favorite stories ever. i don't remember how but an hour ago i came across your blog and found myself delightfully curious for more of it. you are totally a breath of fresh air filled with high quality life and i have thoroughly enjoyed taking in your perspective.

thank you for being you, truly. it was cool to stop by and read your craft. :)

seasonal lust said...

thank you vivian and sarah. how strange it is to receive such deep compliments for something that i feel not worthy of. i feel privileged to have been read by you beautiful souls. i will try my best to keep this blog up and stay true. best wishes.

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