Thursday, May 6, 2010

everyone's a slut in new york

I was browsing through a friend's facebook pictures just now. A fresh New York transplant, his album was full of him posing next to a different chick in just about every picture. And having spoken to him a few times about his new fast paced life, he relayed that he was having a blast dating up there. One night stands abound, and he went through girls like [oh i don't know, insert some witty metaphoric here]. But the fact is this kid wasn't that attractive. Back in our hometown, he didn't pull any girls. He was lucky if one of them would go on a date with him and not call him just a friend. So how do you explain this deluge of girls in his life now? Did New York make him savvier, more confident, less of a doormat?

I grew up in a fairly suburban area. We have mass transit, we have a dense population, but not as dense compared to New York. Probably a midget compared to the amount of people you can stack on top of one another in a 100 square foot radius that is a New York apartment. It's small enough that everyone knows everyone in my social sphere and a little ways beyond. The plus side is you always run into someone you know and you know all the faces you will run into. The downside(size) is you end up sharing (and sometimes fighting over) the same love interests. And after a few years, the social circle starts to resemble Melrose Place, where everyone has slept with everyone else. It all gets a little incestuous. But that is the result of living in a smaller population. The rat-race isn't as prevalent, thus friends tend to get married and settle down much earlier than their counterpart in the Big Apple. It's not for a lack of ambition but a disparity in priorities. Those who usually seek out life in the city or still live there tend to have other goals than starting a family ripe out of college.

One major trait about small towns that I like is there is a clear hierarchy of hotness, whether verbally acknowledge or not, it is pretty well known who the 'hot girl/guy(s)' is in the area, since everyone knows everyone, the dating pool is small to begin with. You get to know pretty quickly who these people are once you hit the dating scene. The hot girl/guy gains notoriety pretty quickly, especially if she/he goes out weekly. Theres only a handful of clubs in my area (Washington, DC) where people will flood to on any given weekend, that its not hard to find yourself in live cesspool of your own dating history, all in one room.

Then we move to New York, and the population is ridiculously vast. So much so that to meet a random stranger twice would be near impossible, let alone meeting the same cab driver twice in your life time. Take out the familiar comfort of a tight-knit social circle, of everyone knowing everyone's story, of having friends that you've grown up with since grade school. This pretty much makes it impossible to establish a hierarchy. The playing field, simply due to the fact of sheer population, is leveled out. It's like shooting fish in a barrel. You will eventually hit one, sooner than later, and no matter where you are on the superficial standard scale. Obviously, there will still be girls and boys who will turn your head, but unlike in a small town, there will be more of them. Hundreds more. That at least a few of them, equipped with low self-esteem or a less superficial standard, will go for someone much lower on the hotness scale.  Basically, your chances of dating greatly increases. It's not even a question of chance anymore. It is a guarantee.

You can date a model in New York. And this is by no means an exaggeration. It may not be a big time model, but there are a hell of a lot of models in New York. And they all need love too, especially in this lonely, isolated city of so many lost souls.

And the anonymity is one major pro of a big city. You can pretty much have x-amounts of one-night stands until you can't walk anymore, and no one would know. The freedom that comes from living such a large city is scary. So many jump right in, head first. I find this very disturbing.

Having come from a small town; I find it hard to meet those in the Big Apple who still have hold some resemblance of standards--who are aware of how easy it is to be easy, still refrain and keep their ideals close to their heart and are not tempted to take a bite.

In New York, sluts are everywhere. Standards is considered a rare species.

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3 comments:

J said...

you're a great writer tu anh! i just read this post on fb.. i really enjoyed it and its definitely relatable from being from the dc area and living in diff cities around the u.s.

Procrastination Queen said...

i live in nj, so getting to the city is about a 20 minute train ride

i've always hated going in, for many reasons, but wow, this post totally sums it up

"in this lonely, isolated city of so many lost souls"

very nicely written!

loveaholic said...

VERY nicely written :) haha. I stumbled upon your page and being a born newyorker myself, I had to read this blog entry.

i've always felt that despite new york city's big hyped up glamour and bustling activity, at the end of the night, it is as you worded "isolated city of so many lost souls"

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