Thursday, June 3, 2010

armoured.

"The city, with it's people who saw you but didn't know you, who touched you but didn't feel you, who heard you but didn't understand you, was far away." Horses Are a Girl's Best Friend, from Blood Roses



I finally understand why they say New York is such an isolating city. There seems to be this wall between you and any one you meet. A barrier almost impossible to breach, but oh so vital to your survival in the city. It's a tough rough world. So you develop this invisible armour or otherwise the daily grind, the competition, the hundreds of others who could do your job better than you for less than you, and the ones waiting for you to fall would just break you to pieces. There is an undercurrent of angst and fear here. No one wants to miss out on anything, yet they fear they forever will. Everyone wants to be on top of everything, but there is an infinite mass to compete with. Life is too fast here. No one stops to smile to a stranger; It's counterproductive and a waste of time. No "have a nice day"s here. Being nice is a waste of time. Genuinely caring about something other than preserving your precious little ego is a forgotten act. Like one day waking up and forgetting how to ever ride a bike or play the piano.

The people here are armoured with an invisible exoskeleton, yet they are the most fragile people I have ever met. I sense their insecurity from a mile away. And they act out from that place of fear to protect themselves. The more they act out, the more fragile they really are, unable to cope with their own flaws and imperfections. Unable to accept that those flaws and imperfections is what makes them beautiful and sets them apart from the rest of cold hard New York.

2 comments:

Ms. Givens said...

I would hate that. I make everyone speak to me, even the person in the drive thru at McDonalds. :)
Us Okies talk allot.

J said...

competition will isolate oneself, but its sad that people really can't take the moment to smile at a stranger or open a door for someone even in such a fast paced world that NYC is, those are the little things in life that might brighten someone's day

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